from the first time we were together till now..
things change so much.
some for the better. some for the worse.

i find it so hard to talk to you. i find it so hard to tear away from you.
i feel that i could no longer confide in you. whenever i feel sad about arique, i cant seem to talk about my feelings that has been bottled up. it seems that you cant wait to put a fullstop to my sentence. who do i turn too if i cant even confide in you? as days pass, our love doesnt bloom and i dont want to be in denial anymore.

it is wrong for me to listen to your voice before i go to sleep? you havee been doing for the past months. why cant you do it now and continue doing it? why cant the everything be normal? why do you have to leave me to cry on my own at night, to find comfort within myself and to heal my own wounds? why cant you make things a little better for me?

when i start confiding, your conclusion is im irritating, over pampered. you never listen. you never know what little pleasures that a partner could do. cause to you, only money do the talking and actions. again, you can never understand the pain girls have to go thru. you can never feel what i feel.

and when you busy, you just erase me totally from everything. you just find me when you need me. like when youre busy working, the only things that makes you wanna msg me frequently is to ask whether ive done whatever admin work that i need to do for you - ringing starhub, axs, writing countless appeal letters...if not. you would shut up for the next 4 5 6 hours. when i ask you to call for mere pathetic 2 minutes. i have to wait till 3 am.

the only thing that keeps me coming back to you is love. not cause i want to step hero, the term you always put when i say things that i reall mean. but again, how far can love goes?

you may think it clingy. but you never once feel bless for whatever you have now. you never appreaciate someone being so faithful to you. you never appreaciate whatever ive done for you. stop denying nan. ask yourself, how many times ive give in to you on accord of your work. how many times you left me stranded on the busy road and expect me to hold on to your hand when i cross one after another busy road. it never hit you that i may never come back once you let go of my hand right? please..i find it so hard to talk to you, confide and im too tired for all the long messages. so i just type it out. i may never came running back to you one day if you continue letting my hand go.