its 2 am and i cant sleep.
ive got class at 8am tml.
3 days straight ive been sleeping late.
2 am everyday.
boyfriend was confuse on why i was still tired today despite me sleeping at 9pm.
truth is, no.
i didnt sleeep till 2 yesterday.
i just want to leave you alone.

do you love me?
do you still adore me like how you do when you surprise me with bubble tea?
it was sweet right?

the ring on my birthday present symbolises our love..
i was so shoocked when i saw you throwing it hard across the busy road..
my bad when i force you to take out and throw it away..
but you know i didnt mean it.
it hurts so bad to see you throwing away something very meaningful to us.

i cant breath when im so angry or so sad.
my heart aches to the point of numbness.
i shed countless times and i idk how many buckets of tears have been cmoing out of my eyes.

you are not the sweet sounding, sincere, loving nan i know.
you are angry, bad tempered nan now.
i suddenly become so scared of you.
so fearful to tell you the truth over everything..
so scared to disagree..
im so scared when yourre angry..
when youre angry, you even ask me to go back home when im a bedok waiting for you.
you swithed off your phone for one whole night leaving me in agony, fear..the squeeze the water out of me..
you throw all sorts of vulgar at me..

nan, im sorry if i am pompuan pukimak, pompuan tak gune, pompuan sial, the hinder, the useless, the stupid, the crazy girl, the clingy girl, the over possesive.
im so sorry nan.
i just love you. love keeeps me coming back to you. the feeling that i had specially for you keeps me coming back to you no matter how hard you slap me with all those hurtful facts. i just love you. and cause i love you therefore i darent talk more.
i just hold on baby.