My heart is very heavy, this month is a special, its the bulan ramadan. Its not only fasting, whats the diference between our defination of fasting and the rest? Fasting is not just holding your hunger, its never about just holding your hunger. its to hold on everything that we have released for the 11 mnths we are not fasting. our vulgarities, our anger, our emotions that rage beneath our heart. most important the hate with have deep inside our heart. hate is not a bad thing, it make u realise wat love really is, it makes u realise how beautiful life is. Those who have suffered hard ship, went thru war, went thru hate all their life, will realise how beautiful life is. imagine all the hatred you hold against the world, all the anger you have been releasing, you hold all ur emotions, all your lust all that you take advantage of, for this special 1 month, you will soon realise, y are you so pitiful to urself? y do u keep all this hatred? Media have brainwash all our mind, even me, to make vulgarities, anger, hatred and lusty sins to be common. we have seen it as if its normal. yet "old timer" find it not to be as normal as us. Are they really old timer? no, they have seen alot, wats with the hate, wats with anger? its not normal, it was never normal to have that. I am not against media, nor anti any comercial stuff, its just sad that we don't know what is reality and what is not. The sadest part is, im caught in between this spiral pool of a maelstorm, so deep that i dont realise what is reality. wat is normal wat is not. It is said to many that the sins, the devil that tempt us to do sinfull deeds are tied up, and now i ask u, have u tied up ur own sins that u do w/o being tempted? how many times are we tempted to do sins that we do willingly and use Shaitan as a reason?

Many won't understand even 1/4 of wat im trying to say, but i know my baby faz understands wat im trying to say. i have sin, and its sad that i realise only in this month. wat have a become? i methamophosis into sumting that i hate. wat have i done? 1 thing for sure, i love my baby faz.love you so much honey, im sorie for every sin i have done to u, forgive me ayang..mwah!