could you feel the pain im going thru or is it just anger and revenge running thru your vein?

i lost my handphone yesterday.
my precious handphone.
first it was my mom most expensive gift to me ever.
second it was my only way to see my late nephew moving about in the video, calling out my name..
third it was all the photos thats inside of it..

the feeling of losing that video is worst then losing you..or losing my wallet with my ic.
and to think, so dick pick pocket me..i make sure he suffer and lost double or triple of what i lose today.

can anyone feel the pain?
could you feel that pain??
i needed you badly yesterday..i needed your comfort badly yesterday..
just to tell me that veerything is going to be fine..but you were not there.
from bedok to geylang..
am i asking for too much??

i dont blame you for the lost..and to think you took ages to decide
and when you aked me the same question on why i could lose the phone or have i found the phone..
cant i answer you in vain? i wasnt even angry with you..
and to think you toyed around with my feeling of saying that acttually you wanted to come..but when i answered in vain you decided not to come..
WHAT AM I TO YOU??

i wont say anymore..
what can i do..im fated to go thru all this shit.
and you dont even bother saying that you love me.
yes..im the most irritating, stupid, cligy, useless foool here.
im the goddamn burden that you have to carry over your shoulder.
you dont have to repeat..
i know how useless i am.

and to whoever who rushed down, bothered to help me thru the process of everything..i really thank you.