devourer of love

2009-10-13T12:34:00.001+08:00

new add.
fazz
www.thatthingyoudoo.blogspot.com

2009-10-06T23:22:00.001+08:00

MOVED
Will update soon
:)

...

2009-10-04T09:10:00.000+08:00

even to your own girlfriend, you are being revengeful.

its all in history

2009-10-04T02:39:00.003+08:00

maybe our love is just the in thing in the past.

U nv read dont u.
U nv listen dont u.

Off ur phone,
unplugged the cord.

Do what u want.

No worries,
Im just a doll.
No hard feelings.
Have fun playing game baby
:)

i hate it

2009-10-03T00:46:00.002+08:00

when ure not working, i would always be looking forward to meet u
When ur not working night, i would always be looking forward to talk to u otp.

But i doubt u feel that way.
When ure free, ure always looking forward to do ur stuff and meeting me is like going to work for u.
U dread and wish that u don have to meet me.
And when it comes to talking to me, its like you answering those call, attending to complainant. U have to do it, not cause u want too.

U know that each time u scold me, u shout at me, i feel so small?
When is the last time i shout at u?
If i scold u fuck u straight to ur face, what would u do?
U would walk away or simply switch off the phone. Or u call back, say how rude i am, fuck me and put down the phone.

I just hate her. I ask u to accept it or leave me..and u decided to leave me. Over a 30 year old bitch, chinesse, u didnt say she is ugly, she is okok. U got very defensive. Accept it.

U just cant see it don u.. I love u so much and im getting this from u. Im adapting to whatever u want me to do and u want more. Im just disappointed. But again, all this means nothing, cause they are senseless. Im just a doll to u. U treat me with no respect and no feeliings.

I miss u so much..

our blog seems dead.

2009-10-02T11:38:00.002+08:00

i haven have the time to really update. For nan, he rather plays game and go everywhere except our blog. So ya, thats life now. People change.
Sorrry readers
Till next time when me & him finallly find the inspiration to update.

pathetic tots

2009-09-27T10:47:00.002+08:00

i miss my past..there is many things which i want to let go now and just go back to my past. There are many things which i want to take from the past and bring it with me now. Im tired with what life got to offer. Im tired to oveercome a new day and be denial of what happened yesterday. I cliimb and i fall. I keeep falling and keep having to pick mysf up. Im tired of telling myself that eventually i get over it. Truth is, im not capable of doing anything. Truth is im useless. Ive wasted 1 year 7 months of ur life. I haven beeen giving and ive beeen a real burden. I stop u from doing anything. And the best part of our relationship is only the first month. I adore nisa and din cause din got a great gf and im not even somewhere near nisa. U made me believe all this. im sorry. i make things better for u. I restore your faith in me though i myself has lost faith in you. I stll love u regardless of what...

fazz

2009-09-20T22:51:00.000+08:00

only god knows how i feel..

2009-09-17T03:17:00.001+08:00

you love giving me sleepless nights. I really wish u listen cause i hardly open up to anyone. Maybe i don have the guts to do so. Nvm. Im just plain useless. To the point that u don bother ringing me back to listen to me after i put down the phone. Whatever coming out from my mouth, thoughts are bunch of crap. I know, full of shi. Im stupid to even say it out. Haha.

2009-09-13T18:26:00.001+08:00

where is the love?

can you feel it?

2009-09-11T18:58:00.001+08:00

could you feel the pain im going thru or is it just anger and revenge running thru your vein?

i lost my handphone yesterday.
my precious handphone.
first it was my mom most expensive gift to me ever.
second it was my only way to see my late nephew moving about in the video, calling out my name..
third it was all the photos thats inside of it..

the feeling of losing that video is worst then losing you..or losing my wallet with my ic.
and to think, so dick pick pocket me..i make sure he suffer and lost double or triple of what i lose today.

can anyone feel the pain?
could you feel that pain??
i needed you badly yesterday..i needed your comfort badly yesterday..
just to tell me that veerything is going to be fine..but you were not there.
from bedok to geylang..
am i asking for too much??

i dont blame you for the lost..and to think you took ages to decide
and when you aked me the same question on why i could lose the phone or have i found the phone..
cant i answer you in vain? i wasnt even angry with you..
and to think you toyed around with my feeling of saying that acttually you wanted to come..but when i answered in vain you decided not to come..
WHAT AM I TO YOU??

i wont say anymore..
what can i do..im fated to go thru all this shit.
and you dont even bother saying that you love me.
yes..im the most irritating, stupid, cligy, useless foool here.
im the goddamn burden that you have to carry over your shoulder.
you dont have to repeat..
i know how useless i am.

and to whoever who rushed down, bothered to help me thru the process of everything..i really thank you.

to my baby.

2009-09-10T00:38:00.003+08:00

im not good with words.

eversince we promise to hold each other hands and never to let go..we have never been apart even for a day.
even when youre doing your bmt, you would still call me at the end of the day to aid the feeling of missing each other.
its beeen 2 days..
48 hours, without you.
ive beeen on my own eversince we parted that day.

i feel so lost without you.
i feel so imcomplete without you.
i don feel freedom but i feel suffocated without you.
you are like my air and oxygen.
i neeed you to be there for me if not physically but in other aspects.
i tried occupying myself with work and friends but when everything end..my heart still aches for you.
im counting down days to meeet you so i could hug you and kiss you and just hold on to you.
only god knows how much i miss you and wish that you would appear right before myeyes.
i really miss you.
though its only 2 days,
i realised how much impact youve made to my life,
how your presence make so much different to me..
those little little gestures you did for me..
now that im without it..i feel like a lost child.
i feeel that im so handicappped without you..

no one could make smile and happy apart from you..
yes im smiling, laughing..
but deep inside..i still want you to be close to me..

i hate going thru this..
but if its fir the best of us in the future..
ill be strong..
idk how but i stay strong for us.

so much as you wants things to be like in the past..
when our love is pure and sinccere, putting aside possesiveness and not trusting..
i want it that way too.
i miss the past baby..
i miss the orea donut and the chocolate milk tea.
i miss the movie marathon we use to have..
i miss just sitting down doing nothing and be in your arms.
i miss talking about religion with you..
i miss you so much nan.
i reali do.
you will always be my bestfriend, my boyfriend, my soulmate.

and till the day we planned to meet..
I LOVE YOU TOO NAN.
i really do.

Nothing but endless thougts

2009-09-08T23:09:00.000+08:00

My mind is in a myst, manipulating my every inch of my soul to feel. All this feeling that i nvr tot exist was felt. a feeling that i am unaware of. a feeling thats hard to describe. i feel sad, lost at the same time irritated, angry left forsaken by my own tots my own heart my own soul. im in this oblivion in my heart without a tot to ani1. this heart crumble but i felt no tears yet tears drip from this very eyes that see nuting but yet truth. Sometimes, truth just hurt. sometimes, its beter no to see truth. funny isn't it, how god gave us brain to think yet we were groom since young to follow a rule that we don't understand. weird how we are given a brain to tink yet many tink with their heart. I feel alone and lonely, yet...this is the way i want to feel for now. a space to think, a space to release this anger and sadness in a form of tots, plain tots of nutingless that make no sense yet makes me feel better.

We were groom since young to love and be love, how love shows happiness. love being a pinch of heaven. But we we'nt told about the sacrifice of it, the agony of it, the torment it make 2 lovers feel. a change in each other that makes one remembering the past n love it.. the past of us...i wish we will go back to that love... i wish we are not like this..where were our plain childish innocent love that grew over the days w/o the presence of possesive but the presence of trust in each other? Trust and faith is all i ask from u. I hope that day will come where we truly understand wat love really is..wats the real meaning of sacrifice... i hope both us will. i still love u n care for u...my heart wish only to be embraced by ur love..my tots wish only to be embrace by ur trust..my soul wish only to be embrace by ur faith.. till the day that we plan to meet.. I LOVE YOU FAZ

my thoughts :) :(

2009-09-08T01:44:00.002+08:00

my whole world came crumbling down when you said that to me.
i really cant think of anything else but just to walk off.
part of me wanting you to stop me
whereas part of me wanting you to let me go off.
and you let me go off.

if not for friends who was there..
idk what will happen.

and we were finally talking when i reached home.
it was nice dear.
i really don want things to end as we went thru so many many things togehter.
its not a 1 week 1 month thing..
its beeen going on for almost 2 years.

there will be no one to put me to sleep..
no one will take away my fear..
no one to fight with..
no one to listen to me whining..
no one to eat with me..
no one to catch movie with me..
no one for me to kiss and hug..
no one will talk to me till wee hours..
i really don know what to do till 23rd
but if its for the best of us, ill go thru it.

i cant think of anyone else to really take over your place in my heart..
no one is capable enough, no matter how hard they try.
i just need you mannan to be in my heart.
and i wont search further..i just want you to be the permanent resident there. haha.
take care alright baby.
lets not complicate matter and enjoy the air and space we are having now.
i love you. mwah mwah mwah

2009-09-06T09:36:00.002+08:00

i reallly don understand me.

a guy who makes me cry, degrade me, insult me, humiliates me, hurt me so much..
yes im still with him.
he who affliates me with the word irritating&immature
he who i need to make an appointment to meet.

i seriously don see the point of me saying sorry so that your work wont be affected or you will have the appetite to eat. cause you dont gave a shit wherever i am when you want to hurt me or make me cry.

how many times have i turn my back on you, how many times have you turnned you back on me?? countless boy.

why do i still wear the ring when i have to fight for your time?
its as good as me being your friend, like shaz naz or whoever.
why do i waste so much of my time being faithful to you when you hardly have the time for me?
WHY? when you are so calculative with the time you spend with me??

im wasting my youth away.
i see no future with you.
our plan for engagement seems like a dream to me.
everything is becoming so unrealistic even after we got our permanent jobs.

why do you only say sorry when i said sorry?
i have feelings nan.
and i hate it when you affiliate those feelings with irritating & immature.

what does murny do to get your attention.
to get you to send countless messages on friendster and on the cell phone.
to get you to wait on her at her school gate or to get you to hopeless hope that she get back to you?

and how do i have scandals without giving a shit about your feeling, like how you hurt me. and still can sleep peacefully at night. how the hell i do that.

i hate you nann. i hate it when i have to fight for youe attention.
i hate it when im feeling this way..i really see no point.

FAZZY

2009-09-02T03:11:00.002+08:00

ive been so busy with work.
i worked over the weekends and yadayadayada.

im working almost everyday
and after so long, finally tml is my off day.
my official off day.

i had so much fun at work.
but that also depends on the mentor im working with.
the worse is not that bad afterall.
worse would be classified under strict but they are still fun.
the best mentor would definately be nasirah.

and just now, i did with this guy call razdi.
haha, we had so much fun together and i learnt a trick of two.
he let me do my style of clearing.
and what the hell..
from 530-730..
i did the face-2-face clearance.
means i have to walk down the aisle of the car and check their face with the passport.
2 hours while fasting OKAY!
the clearance was actually for loory but due to high numbers of car, they decided to convert it for car clearance.
my fatigue was at the peak and i was made to stand for 2 hours.

one car, the engine blown out.
it sounded so loud that i have to hide behind my mentor.
i was already mengucap sak..
nie kalau explode, takde maaf eh.
so ya, i seeek refuge behind him.
and we have to push the car so that it doesnt block the only clearance area. mcm bodoh.
sumpah.

and then we went to arrival car clearance.
we heard this celine dion song from one of the travellers' car.
so i asked for the title, she asked me to speak malay.
and when i speak malay, ask her again, she spelled out her full name and give me the blank look.
so i guess thats the title of the song..
we tahan the laughter till she went offf and the whole counter was filled with out laughter. wth.
so young yet so deaf. hahaha.

at the end of the day..
he was cracking his brain on how to have me again as his mentii on the next morning shift.
and conclusion, he asked me to go to the chop rooom to request.
no way.

i had fun today at work and any other days.
so ya,
very wordy.
read it if you want.
hahaha.

AND LASTLY;;;
i miss you so much.
and i still love you as much.
i hope we will have a great day on our date tml.
i still love you nan.

2009-08-23T21:11:00.000+08:00

My heart is very heavy, this month is a special, its the bulan ramadan. Its not only fasting, whats the diference between our defination of fasting and the rest? Fasting is not just holding your hunger, its never about just holding your hunger. its to hold on everything that we have released for the 11 mnths we are not fasting. our vulgarities, our anger, our emotions that rage beneath our heart. most important the hate with have deep inside our heart. hate is not a bad thing, it make u realise wat love really is, it makes u realise how beautiful life is. Those who have suffered hard ship, went thru war, went thru hate all their life, will realise how beautiful life is. imagine all the hatred you hold against the world, all the anger you have been releasing, you hold all ur emotions, all your lust all that you take advantage of, for this special 1 month, you will soon realise, y are you so pitiful to urself? y do u keep all this hatred? Media have brainwash all our mind, even me, to make vulgarities, anger, hatred and lusty sins to be common. we have seen it as if its normal. yet "old timer" find it not to be as normal as us. Are they really old timer? no, they have seen alot, wats with the hate, wats with anger? its not normal, it was never normal to have that. I am not against media, nor anti any comercial stuff, its just sad that we don't know what is reality and what is not. The sadest part is, im caught in between this spiral pool of a maelstorm, so deep that i dont realise what is reality. wat is normal wat is not. It is said to many that the sins, the devil that tempt us to do sinfull deeds are tied up, and now i ask u, have u tied up ur own sins that u do w/o being tempted? how many times are we tempted to do sins that we do willingly and use Shaitan as a reason?

Many won't understand even 1/4 of wat im trying to say, but i know my baby faz understands wat im trying to say. i have sin, and its sad that i realise only in this month. wat have a become? i methamophosis into sumting that i hate. wat have i done? 1 thing for sure, i love my baby faz.love you so much honey, im sorie for every sin i have done to u, forgive me ayang..mwah!

Happy 1 year 6 months!

2009-08-23T15:44:00.000+08:00

Happy 1 year 6 months to my baby love! i love her so much! i do anything for her, but sumtimes its to hard. but still i love you ayang..mwah! hehe, puase when da boleh k..hehe

:)

2009-08-23T14:11:00.002+08:00

this month was a little special for us.
though we didnt spend much time a labrador park,
just so you know that i really love going back to that place.
that place holds so much memories of us.

thats where we actually started everything.
on that steps,
you asked me to be yours.

i love coming back there.
notthing has changed over there apart from the blown up lamp.
very peaceful, and all we could hear was the sound of wave.
i love you nan and i enjoyed every moment i spent with you there and everywhere.
thanks for everything

happy 18th month baby :)

fazzy

2009-08-20T17:42:00.002+08:00

i had a bad bad bad day..

idk how many people actually shouted at me and how many people i had to plead.
idk how many times i lost my way..
and i also don know how many times i feel like fainting.

oh my..give me the strenght please.

Oni post

2009-08-20T16:08:00.000+08:00

Work starts, and everything fell apart. So many stuff race acros my mind.no point of being optmistic. Up with the daily dose of nonsense. I cant take it anymore. All she do is asume. its driving my crazy. with various imaginable way to find fault. no one can be sane after this.

fazzy's post

2009-08-19T18:22:00.004+08:00

and so i had a great weekend.
when is the last time i had a proper update.
like finallly i have the time.
on friday..
nann surprise me with a ring.
a new ring for me!!!
the boys had their street soccer fico.
it was nice and simple.

after that..
i had double date with paris and his gf, shima.
we had chendol, ice cream at makan shiok and off to jurong safra for our daily dose of LEFT 4 DEAD.
im impress that his gf can played so well. first time ok!

the next morning..
we went all went to the zoo!!
due to some stuff, nann couldnt make it.
i was so down due to some stuff also..
fadhil and fadillah came to fecth me with their car..
when i arrived, it was raining.
the first show was cancelled.

the guys did veery ways and means to make me feeel better.
hirman even bought me a raincoat.
yes, i was the smallest and i was in yellow
i feeel so loved and bless.

and so we toook the chance to carrry the big phython or whatever the name is..
ewwww...it feeels like $%^&*
i cant reallly describe it here.
but i remeber describing it bren, watie and an when we met for shisha that night.

thats ani :)

raqie mcm real gituu!!

my flu jab face -_-

whatever k parisss.

alahai, si dila. so pretty that day

faisal jugak steady.

the guys drop me off at khatib mrt station and i made my way to town to meeet nan.

we had a long long talk.

super long talk till i feeel that butt was aching from the sitting.

we made up of course.

while baby is off to dinner with his family.

i stayed behind at bugis for shisha with watie an and bren bitch.

halik and zul could not make it as they are down for the army half marathon AGAIN!

haha, we had so much fun.

good food, drinks and of course shisha.

me and an split the billl :)

and the upcmong days after that is simply superb :)

baby and me catched HANGOVER & GI JOE (like finally) yesterday.

we squeeze in two shows.

i went to MO and got a day of mc.

i was so sick.

the day before,

i finally met up with nan's colleagues.

my colleagues are better!

i had LG with naz and nan.

sumpah gerek!

and today..

i spent the whole day at home..

eating food, eating med and going to sleeep.

im still on the drowzy mode.

thanks for accompanying me to alexandra hospital till 2 am plus yestersday.

kesian you.

and damn, another 3 days mc.

im super sick.

**latest update..

many are falling sick at batch 11, ica.

im one of the "spreader"

hahahaha.

chios.

mampos, takder paragraph.

fazzy

2009-08-14T00:24:00.001+08:00

MARKSWOMAN!!!

86/100

nan is a changed man..too many.

my saturday :)

2009-08-09T00:39:00.003+08:00

well i thought it was going to be a boring one.
i had a great one instead.
it was a blast!

in the afternoon,
i took the initiative to make my way down to eunos to his place.
nan fetched me at the busstop
and he was SO SMELLY.
HE HASNT BATH SINCE HE WOKE UP.
and he got the habit of wearing some odd oversize football tees.
nevertheless..i love him.

slackeed at baby's place using internet and watching ramen girl.
and we head off to parkway and walk around.
i know he is tired but i guess he just wants me to be happy.
then we just spend out time together.
it was very odd that no one has got any plans on saturday.
then my dearest halik rang me.
so baby send me to halik at bedok.
then i made a new friend named rajesh(halik's bunkmate)
very nice guy.

so we then make our way to town..
to meet asar and of course my dearest classmates.
zul and an could not make it.
we bumped into bo, fame, mimi and apek.
and we spend out time together at cineleisure.
i got to meeet adawiyah also.

it was super fun.
i toook a cab home all thanks to halik!!!
i wish nan was there..

my pisture with nan was taken while we were on holiday at italy.
hahaha. k diam.

AND!!!
I WAnt TO CAPITALISE THIS PARAGRAPH.
ON FIRST TRIAL AFTER 6 YEARS OF not SHOOTING...
I GOT MARKSWOMAN..!!!
64/70!!!
THAT WOULD BE 92%

SHOOT WITHIN THE DOTED LINES.
HAHA, IM SMALL BUT YOU BETTER DON MESS WITH ME.
I CAN SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT BETTER THEN SOME GUYS.

and i pasted it on room's wall.

and im so glad that we finally arrive to the conclusion..
and im so looking forward for everything.
we gonna get there right baby?
i love you oily roti nan.
and i guess he is arresting another one now cause it hasnt reply to my msg since just just now.
hero sey.
i wish i could arrest, patrol, log sheet, help people in need..
sayang ICA TAK..CB.

2009-08-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

I do not know wat to update...aniwaes, faz is with me right now. hmmm...going to work later aha. tomrow is NDP and watching fire work tomorow i guess..aha my family is going to JB tomorow. wonder wat they wll be doing there. I really really miss jamming and going to gig, listening to 1 of the music that i played togeher with qader's band. it was great, awesome..ahah miss those days. well aniwaes im out of words to update, cheers all!

Oni's Post

2009-08-06T14:16:00.000+08:00

Once again, i dotno what to update. Lets just update random thots.

When will the hate stop. People hating others, without trully understanding why or what hate really is. All they want is to destroy others life, ruin the person who hate others. You spray nonsense about your relligion as an excuse for your hate. Our prophet Muhammad S.A.W after so long of enduring & taken from others. Take their love ones life, their home, their everything. What did this people take from you? what did u endure that none of us have? killing of love one? you justify it by doing the same? Rejoice in kiling innocent life. Killing own life or innocent life was never stated in the holy book in any way, yet it was manipulated as if what you did is right. Take away ur freedom? Isnt it harder to smuggle parts of explosive equipment rather then to transport food? so i ask, is your freedom really taken? Why do you hate so much, your no different then mat-rep only can live with it because manipulating and taking advantage of the riddles in the holy book. your heart is still troubled yet telling yourself lies just to sleep at night. the sad part is, deep inside, u really know that it is a lie and wrong to do so.

Well thats my random tots, and on everypost, of cauce the end i will say...I LOVE MY BABY FAZ! hehe..CHEERS!

fazzy's post

2009-08-05T02:48:00.002+08:00

hey there..
i just did the skin BY MYSELF
ive been very busy lately..
7 days a week and it is always jam-packed with different activities with different group of people.

12th is arriving and im sure many are looking forward for it.

ill be posted to woodlands checkpoint though i would have prefer tuas.
but i dont care cause i cant afford to be choosy.
i seize all opportunities laid out for me.
and i shall want my comfirmation to permanent staff within a year and definately do more OT to bring home more money.

its been one month since ive started training.
i had so much fun in class.
the so call vacation is going to end soon.
i will never be able to be in a class environment.
i love my colleagues cause they are the once who made me happy and jumping around no matter how tired i am.
im the most energetic girl in there.
small yet loud.

ive got my basic unarmed cert and currently working on my marksman.
again, i want to seize it all..
given my background in npcc..
competitions and stuff..
i hope the skill is still there.
hahaha
$200 oie.

i will definately post their pictures here
and i cant wait to show my BUC instructor..haha.
super cute but married.

i love being busy though.
i love having tight schedule and feel the sense of fulfillment each time i complete it.

despite the busy schedule..
i managed to spend enought time with my boyfriend, family and friends.
i love what im doing.
but again, stepping stone..
i still wanna be a police officer.
and im always jealous when i saw all thos women PO whoish height is almost the same like me.
OHYA..
the govt are contemplating on banning shisha
knnccb.

again..
i miss arique.
when will i stop missing him?
i reallly want to see him, touch him..
i really miss him and still cry at night whenever i think of him.
all i could do i bace fateha.
it suck to feel that thats all you can do.

and im still in love with nannoni :)

little thoughts..

2009-08-04T22:37:00.002+08:00

im going to smile like there's nothing wrong,
talk like everything is perfect,
act like its all a dream,
and pretend its not hurting me :)

some say holding on is what that makes you strong
but sometimes,
it takes more strenght to let go and move on.

true love is when you shed tears and still wants him
its when he ignores you and you still loves him
its when he degrades and demoralise you to the max,
you still apologise and still loves him
its like when he loves another and you say 'im happy for you'
when all you do is cry and cry

and the truth is..
everyone is going to hurt you..
you just have to decide whos worth the pain...

2009-08-04T00:23:00.001+08:00

i wont tell how bad you treated me.
but im NEVER coming back to once i find that strenght to do so..

best ever...

2009-08-03T00:05:00.003+08:00

im so in love with the story.
i dont mind watchung it all over again.
we were seated at the very front row when we catched and hell yeah..
i never enjoy watching a movie so much.
i love it.

super touching.
iskh.
im watching it again.
over flow popcorn for me. heeeeee

i spent most of my time over the weekend on this!
i love it so much.
i didnt know i became so expert playing it.
playing it better then guys.
now who said lan gaming are for guys and chinese girls only??

boleh relek sudah..
im equally goood.
anyone care to play versus with us???
hahahahaaaa!

and of course..
i spent most of my time with my baby.
i love you tooo oni sayang.

Oni post

2009-07-31T13:42:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. i dont know wat to update..well being playing l4d for few days now..its fun..ahah..duh~ since when is game not fun for me..ahah.. well sat going out with faz fam...if its confirm...nd to pass driving test by his abg ipah 1st..it is his car..ahah..o well..no pressure..jz drive as per normal..dat means no drifting for a few days....wahahah yea rite..k dats all..cheers! yea..short..wat u gona do? sue me?ahah...that phrase remind me of din..where is dat din aniwaes..step jage mrt..rumah sendiri tk jage..nk jage mrt..ahaha..k diam..aniweas! i love fazzy baby! hehe

2009-07-28T23:49:00.003+08:00

idk why but i become so irritated when it seems that you don understand.
why cant you just remove the effing heart?
im just so confuse why is it there.
cause i never especially done anything for you and tadaaaa...a heart on my name or shuold i say faz&oni.
you just seem so persistence do you.
nvm, i just ask nan to tag on your blog. better still if he calls you.

work is fine.
seems more like school to me.
or the feeling of cant wait to go for cca then.
i love work.
i love being there.

i cant wait to fire arms and get that marksman.
gua marksman beb back in secondary school.
i hope it works all nice for me.
i saw a few BUAYE DARAT.
but i learn so many stufff as well..

ya.
lazy to talk about nan.
cause he doesnt update.
maybe he is updating some where else.
fcuk.
whatever.

fazzzy

2009-07-26T00:43:00.002+08:00

everyday in my life..
there is always one person im worried about.
haish.

if mannan, friends, family or whoever makes me worried..
then that would be additional burden on my shoulder.

so ya.
the day when i stop worrying about that person..
is the day that im the happiest girl.

very random :)

2009-07-23T03:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 1 YEAR AND 5TH MONTH!!!!

as always, faz post..

2009-07-23T01:12:00.002+08:00

my life have been a total madness...
ive finally started my long awaited job with the ica.
im now doing my 6 weeks training at home team.
it almost going into my 2nd week of training.

i had the wonderful bunch of colleagues.
they are like super fun.
my first friend i made there also shared the same birthday as me.
haha.
i got to know about it just now.
coolness.
so we are having out bbq this friday.
they booked the pit and stuff.
so ya.
looking forward for that.

i love my family so much though at times i feel that i hate them so much.
especially my mom..
i wont say what she did but that was the sweetest thing she could have ever did. i dont think that she is even aware that i knew about it.
thanks bro for making me feel so much better when i need some comfort.
the sister whom i haven been talking for months was the one who was there to settle everything when i messed up everything big time.
and i really regret saying all that to my dad..i really love him but its just so hard to explain at times..

we messed up big times.
im just so embarassed over the whole issue.
but im glad we settle the difference and leave evrything behind
and move forward together.
happy 1 year 5 months :)

fazzy

2009-07-18T04:25:00.001+08:00

haish.
i miss you
i love you still.
never fades.

2009-07-18T02:21:00.001+08:00

still..
how far can love goes?

Oni's post

2009-07-17T14:51:00.003+08:00

its hard for me to believe wat u say. wat u say is wat u nt mean. u say to burn anger in my heart. ur sacasm. ur exagaration. yes, u cant see wat i do to u. u are use to wat i have done to u b4. dat when i nt do it. u start getting to clingy, to irritating. i cant entertain u 24/7. im working. at home most of the time i be sleeping or spent the next 2-3 hrs remaining b4 meeting playing game. why cant i get my free time? u had plenty so u find it ok. u tell tales, see the part of past that what i have done bad to u, but never tell tales of y i did it. wat exactly happen. why dont u think before u say? u just say to feel better but never say for the sake of truth. i've chage, i agree. u should know y i change. u should have seen the reason of my metamaphosis. u of all people should know wat happen between us. dont jump to conclusion like every word i say dat u put it against me. think before u jump. no matter wat i love u. dats y i keep coming back. i threw my ego of wat i say to come back to u cause i love u. but u cant see it. u see it as i ask u do things. the truth is..its only 5-7 appeal letter u did for me, the letter that u refuse to give me the infomation that i need for me t appeal. y i get fined, u should know y.and u find it a hassle for me to ask u to do it for me. i only find u for that? when i work its only once or twice i ask u to. and its because the person call cause of the late payment. but the countless time i get scolded, for toking to u on the phone again n again is nt seen. u heard several time when i toking the background start scolding me, but u cant see that. when i msg get scolded, u cant see that. all u see is the bad dat happen a few times but not the good that happen several time. yes, i say step hero, when u ask me to leave. to fuck of. to not contact u animore, to ignore u, NOT when u come back. ur exagration and assumption never change. still i love u

my..

2009-07-17T01:56:00.002+08:00

its 2 am and i cant sleep.
ive got class at 8am tml.
3 days straight ive been sleeping late.
2 am everyday.
boyfriend was confuse on why i was still tired today despite me sleeping at 9pm.
truth is, no.
i didnt sleeep till 2 yesterday.
i just want to leave you alone.

do you love me?
do you still adore me like how you do when you surprise me with bubble tea?
it was sweet right?

the ring on my birthday present symbolises our love..
i was so shoocked when i saw you throwing it hard across the busy road..
my bad when i force you to take out and throw it away..
but you know i didnt mean it.
it hurts so bad to see you throwing away something very meaningful to us.

i cant breath when im so angry or so sad.
my heart aches to the point of numbness.
i shed countless times and i idk how many buckets of tears have been cmoing out of my eyes.

you are not the sweet sounding, sincere, loving nan i know.
you are angry, bad tempered nan now.
i suddenly become so scared of you.
so fearful to tell you the truth over everything..
so scared to disagree..
im so scared when yourre angry..
when youre angry, you even ask me to go back home when im a bedok waiting for you.
you swithed off your phone for one whole night leaving me in agony, fear..the squeeze the water out of me..
you throw all sorts of vulgar at me..

nan, im sorry if i am pompuan pukimak, pompuan tak gune, pompuan sial, the hinder, the useless, the stupid, the crazy girl, the clingy girl, the over possesive.
im so sorry nan.
i just love you. love keeeps me coming back to you. the feeling that i had specially for you keeps me coming back to you no matter how hard you slap me with all those hurtful facts. i just love you. and cause i love you therefore i darent talk more.
i just hold on baby.

2009-07-14T19:08:00.002+08:00

do i look like a dog to you??

you ask me to get ready bring your stuff and you change it last minute?
or you ask me to get ready when you are angry you ask me to go back home no matter where i am?

FUCK OFF LA CBS.

im not your fucking dog.
stop treating me like one fucking dog.
stop coming to me when you onlyneeed me.

my post

2009-07-14T17:56:00.002+08:00

i had fun at work just now!

my first friend is herman
and the rest are shila, noraini & dila.

i beginning to love going to class.
miss does days in ite.

mwahh!! mwahh!! - thats what fir tersent to me.
one lazy field instructor.
everytime i call to meet him, he is SLEEPING.

NO MATTER HOW FUCKED UP YOU ARE TO ME..
i still love you.
haish.

movies with lovelies later :)

life's a joke. haha :)

2009-07-14T00:40:00.003+08:00

from the first time we were together till now..
things change so much.
some for the better. some for the worse.

i find it so hard to talk to you. i find it so hard to tear away from you.
i feel that i could no longer confide in you. whenever i feel sad about arique, i cant seem to talk about my feelings that has been bottled up. it seems that you cant wait to put a fullstop to my sentence. who do i turn too if i cant even confide in you? as days pass, our love doesnt bloom and i dont want to be in denial anymore.

it is wrong for me to listen to your voice before i go to sleep? you havee been doing for the past months. why cant you do it now and continue doing it? why cant the everything be normal? why do you have to leave me to cry on my own at night, to find comfort within myself and to heal my own wounds? why cant you make things a little better for me?

when i start confiding, your conclusion is im irritating, over pampered. you never listen. you never know what little pleasures that a partner could do. cause to you, only money do the talking and actions. again, you can never understand the pain girls have to go thru. you can never feel what i feel.

and when you busy, you just erase me totally from everything. you just find me when you need me. like when youre busy working, the only things that makes you wanna msg me frequently is to ask whether ive done whatever admin work that i need to do for you - ringing starhub, axs, writing countless appeal letters...if not. you would shut up for the next 4 5 6 hours. when i ask you to call for mere pathetic 2 minutes. i have to wait till 3 am.

the only thing that keeps me coming back to you is love. not cause i want to step hero, the term you always put when i say things that i reall mean. but again, how far can love goes?

you may think it clingy. but you never once feel bless for whatever you have now. you never appreaciate someone being so faithful to you. you never appreaciate whatever ive done for you. stop denying nan. ask yourself, how many times ive give in to you on accord of your work. how many times you left me stranded on the busy road and expect me to hold on to your hand when i cross one after another busy road. it never hit you that i may never come back once you let go of my hand right? please..i find it so hard to talk to you, confide and im too tired for all the long messages. so i just type it out. i may never came running back to you one day if you continue letting my hand go.

fazzzy's

2009-07-13T01:05:00.003+08:00

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND SO MUCH.

we had so much fun yesterday.
we spend the day together doing SHOPPING!

we spent so much.
he bought me $100 zara leather jacket
and he got himself a leather jacket costing 150.
a mouth mask that cost 24
and his glove that cost 20.

we are so crazy people.
ive bought him a bag that cost 50
and i got myself a bracelet at perlinis.

okay.
first day of training at tracom tml.
fucking fucking nervous.

thanks for the wonderful time baby.
i love you.
mwah!

FAZZY'S POST

2009-07-13T00:35:00.006+08:00

BODOH

2009-07-10T13:13:00.002+08:00

i dont understand.
nan's phone is diverted to mine.
so if people call him, he doesnt answer
it would be divertedd to me.

and usually,
when he is working, he tends to get very popular.
people ringing at wee hours and yadayadayada.

okay,
i dont mind if its diverted to mind cause i could just ignore it.
but at times for fun sake, i just answer it.

police officers are so ill-mannered.
they heard a different voice and put down.
bodoh nak mampos.
but not all.
im refering to those who ring and put down.
fucking rude.

fazzy's post

2009-07-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

i love you!
mwah!
nights!
:)

army..

2009-07-09T23:59:00.002+08:00

and off they go tml..
my blood and my closest buddy.
both are kept very very close to my heart.
they know me inside out.

a guy who doesnt go away when i vomitted.
while the rest rang away.
he got me tissue and make me feel better
and i vomittied on his shoe.
the one i shared my 2 months plus attachment with.
and we became closer after that.
the name is zulbean.

a guy whom i dated but decided its best that we become blood
cause true friends does stay afterall.
he who understand me without me having to say a word.
he who gives great advice and i feel so comfortable confiding in him.
him whom i trust so much with all my honest thoughts and opinion.
but at times, a real pain in the ass.
im so sad that i could not meet him a few days before he goes off.
but i meet you when you booked okay.
the name is halik white trash wannabe.

takecare mate
sayang korang sgt sgt.

god save us please

2009-07-09T13:24:00.002+08:00

whats with "butch-ism" & "lesbian-ism"
fucking disgusting.
fuck off.

p.s. sorry if my comment ouch anyone.

sharique

2009-07-07T23:52:00.002+08:00

how time flies.
it already a year.
yet everything so fresh.
the pain, tears, suffering our family went thru is still very fresh in our hearts and minds.

it really seems so yesterday.
366 days
yet deep inside our hearts..
we miss him dearly.
time won heal as when time goes by..
the pain of missing him gets so over-whelming
the pain of missing him will prolly go away when we die.

haish.
al-fateha

......

2009-07-04T11:35:00.002+08:00

everyone have a black heart, that's how people are..that's what we really are...my tots is still the same, love to hate..hate to love... no mater how u change this 2...its still hate in the end..that's pratical too..no mater which journey, which destination u choose to embrace, there will still be hate.. hate run's in our vein. hate is the very reason we exist. thats what human like us were made..u will never hear aniting in this world that co-exist with hate then us human... go think about it..no other thing in this world or anyway that have hate except us...
as for me..i hate many things, many things.. my heart is as black as the 1 reading this. my heart is as heavy as u...we don't deserve to be hated but i ask u..how many that u know, minus the amount u hate and minus the amount who hate u...n u see that the people that likes u is only a handfull.. this is not including the amount of people that is being a hypocrite. we are after all living in a world of hypocricy...so i ask u, how many people do u hate and how many people hate u? who can u trust. how many friends do u really have? do we really deserve this hate?

fazzy's post

2009-07-01T00:12:00.002+08:00

everything around me went silent when baby finally broke the news to me.
from the solemn of his voice
till the moment he uttered the result.
everything around me fall apart.
i thought my suffering would finally end.
he left me waiting for him for 6 months
and he made me overcome whatever corcumstances beyond my might for another 2 months.
and i thought my suffering finally end.

little did i thoought it was actually the beginning of everything.
i have to grow up and i have to stop thinking that the world revolves around me
and that money fall from sky.
we have to work hard if we really want something.

though we are not born with silver spoon in our mouth
that doesnt hinder us from all the goodness that life has got to offer
but the shitty part is the route to our success.
its been 1 year 4 months 7 days counting since our love for each start budding
and slowly it blossom..

we overcome so many challenges together and we still held on to each others hand tightly while crossing the dangerous and busy road.
though at times, we felt that we tried our might to overcome every obstacles and on the brink of giving up but we still held on tightly to each other praying and hoping that it would come to an end.
and again, we kept on overcoming everything.

i have to accept his work no matter how much i dread it.
i have to have trust in him though it hard for me to trust.
i habe to have all the faith in him.
i have to support him as im am his source of energy and motivation.
i have to do it and i have to be strong for him.

now that we both carved a career out of ourselves
and only wtih that, our dreams are achievable.
i do need you to stay strong for me
and i neeed you to tolerate everything like how i do.
no matter how much i hate it,
i have to give you the support and will always giving you the support.

i try okay baby.
i try hard and if i cant, i try harder
till i can.
and im doing this for you, for us.
like how your doing everything for me.
and together we make our dreams come true.
i trully love you.

my bad

2009-06-29T00:02:00.002+08:00

im over-reacting.

im sorrry baby.

4.12am was call from ops room (operation room)
1.50am was a call from his colleague
anonymous calll on our monthsary was of the SA (staff assistant) clerifying about his MC.

another one, rang 7 times at 6 plus am was his stupid DTL (deputy team leader)

the misunderstanding is cleared and im soooo happpy.

i spend my day with baby eating subway sandwiches, left 4 dead and gate crash someone's birthday surprise.
it comes with free flow of drinks and fruit cakes.

we had a talk with nisa and din.
asking how they cope with each others changes in career and schoool.
thanks guys.
it reallly mean so much too me and nann.

next - wild wild wet :)

tell me how you feel BOY

2009-06-28T04:23:00.006+08:00

TELL ME, HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN..

A ANONYMOUS NUMBER RINGING YOUR BOYFRIEND AT 4.12 AM?
A STRANGE NUMBER RINGING HIM AT 1.50 AM?
A ANONYMOUS NUMBER RINGING HIM DURING YOUR MONTHSARY?

HOW DO YOU FEEL??

when you began asking him
he would say, stop being irritating, and beeep the line goes.

HOW DO YOU FEEL??

WATIE & HALIK.........

fazzy's post

2009-06-21T23:16:00.002+08:00

life is like a rollercoaster.
a mixure of emotions at one go.
eventually, i get tired of riding it.

i always had splendid times when im with my boyfriend.
for now and all..
im feeling so tired of all this feelings.

could i stop crying for a moment?
i just want to stop worrying.
could i god?

and it is really affecting me so much boyfriend.
it hinders me from loving you more each day.
the fear in me is just so overwhelming.

i just hope its all wrong.
haish

fazzy's post

2009-06-20T01:01:00.003+08:00

ahhwww...
if i could turn back time and take something..
the only person i bring back is arique.
"time will heal"
it would only lessen the sorrow of losing but soon the feeling of missing becomes over-whelming.
and time wont heal anything
as time passes, the feeling of missing becomes so so over-whelming that you dont know how to contain it anymore.
hence..
the day i stop missing him is the day that i die.
period

couples do fight.
if there is no fight, then they should start worrying cause either one or both party are keeping something.
i fouught with him countless times..so hard and so bad.
but we kept on coming to each other.
and yes.
i decided.
i love him and only him.

and i miss my two dearest sisters so much.
each of us are all so preoccupied with so many things in life.
work especially.
but i know that they'll be happy cause they have each their own soulmates.
and i know,
whatever friendship that we forged together thru the years..
will stay strong despite anything.
i love you girls.

this was taken during sports camp.

25thjanuary2008.

organised by the seniors.

thats when i first set my eyes on mannan.

for some reason..

he looks real cute, attractive, cool.

i repeat this countless times-i asked him to massage my leg.

i initiate everything.

but he still initiate the chatting on msn.

and im glad i chatted on the phone with ms adawiyah.

i see you sooon dear.

i spent so much time recently with nur ain ishak.
cause we work together.
i had so so much fun at work with her.
we would be laughing, singing backstreetboys song loudly.
banging on the table.
thanks bitch, for listening to me and really comforting me with all the facts
that is true.
i hold to what you said to me that night.
i love you.

and congrats to ms rus rus for passing her TP.
cool right when we have the important issues in our life at the same timing.
i sign, you drive.
i signed, you passed!

we ladies..
no matter how strong we look on the outside,
how ruthless we are at work,
how fierce we are to bangla,
deep inside, we do have our insecurities.
right ladies?

when we sit down and share..
i realise there are just too many similarities..
when our man look at other girls,
when our man reply late to our messages,
picking up our call late,
when they are out there without us..
its all the same.

but they are also the one who will take away all those insecurities.
strange right.
and true..
a man would not stay and come back to you if he has another one.

and having mannan as my boyfriend, my best friend, my brother & my oily roti..
i couldnt ask for more.
your imperfections are those that makes you perfect
:)
i love you.

nobody but you

2009-06-19T01:55:00.003+08:00

thanks baby
for loads of great food
sims3 (collectors' edition)
left 4 dead

and congrats upon winning w980 sony erricson.
it could have been mine.
ya, i want that from you.

2009-06-19T01:49:00.002+08:00

We are back in business..been awhile since i do aniting in the blog and finally i help out abit..ahah.. nt much but atleast sumting..aha...hmm..dont mind the songs i have no idea wat sng to put..so hmm..try skipin if u dont like it..theres a few genre..ahah

niwaes..life is ok..working life oready...aniwaes...faz n me have gd news but wishes to suprises u guys later..ahah...i have no idea if u guys know or nt but watever..even if u know..when i say a suprise everyone will be suprise that the suprise im going to suprise is a suprise u have oready known..ahah...

i love faz la..ahah..love her so much..she have been making me proud and happy u know..love u ayg..hehe..mwah!

WEEEEE!

2009-06-19T01:48:00.002+08:00

things are finally falling into place.
ive been on webcam with mr mannan while trying to work out on our blog.
like finally.
phew.

so many things im looking forward for..
first, looking forward to get over and done with..my part time job at jurong point.
the most slackest job anyone could ever have.
sit whole day, 6 an hour.
great great people surrounding me.
loads of freebies.
second, starting on my new job.
im signing my contract tml!!!!
the rest,
i wont state here till the time comes.
only the closest to me will know.

and..
i miss all my friends.
my lovelies, my sisters.
everybody.
i love jannah
i love sue
i love halik
i love watie
i love sheila
i love einn
i love zul
i love an
i love shasha

and most importantly group of people..
family + my one and only roti nan, mr mannan, onishinigami, mr police officer(yummmy, like what haikal say about the different between police officer and policemen, ya, officer sounds more sexy)

and im still missing arique.
listen,
it would never go away.

i miss allah..
cause i haven beeen faithful to him..

okay.
love.

2009-06-16T01:56:00.001+08:00

goodness..

as you all can seee..

my entries is all to the right.

i give up.

been trying to figure out but fruitless.

i just bug boyfriend to do it for me tml or when he gets back to work later.

so ya,

he is a chi kopek today.

12 hours at geylang.

sorrrry for the everything to the right thing.

and IM BACK!

2009-05-29T00:19:00.003+08:00

the problem lies with me right?
all the sarcasms that falls on me is my fault right?
all the fears in me is equivalent to not being understanding right?
talking out means tears, anger, multiple rings & slamming down of phone right?

and what do you call a person who turned down a 2k++++++++ job?
DUMB.

2009-05-28T00:56:00.002+08:00

i just learnt from rasul about his friend's death.
she rides, and got into a bad bad accident.
wont elaborate.

Allah really takes away life so easily..
imagine all our lifes..
so full of sins..
how are we going to atone for all the sins if He takes it away suddenly?
the sins to him and and to people..

haish..

al-fateha to her.
amin..

2009-05-26T08:34:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 15 MONTHS TOGETHER!
i love you for who you are baby.
and im still crazy over you.
and i love the rose :)

i had a fabolous eveniNg with my fab fab fab clique
we had dinner and created a wonderful plan to get hold of carls junior drinks.
it was everyone except halik who executed the plan.
nan claimed that he is the watchman.
hmmmmm.

and i spilled the big cup of ice lemon tea.
bren, homemade ice tea please!!!

next outing?
tomorrow and 1st june okay?
we feeling feeling bangla and picnic at botanic.
oh ya,
dont bring any cash cause halik decided to treat all of us for the night at museum 2 tml.
he worked for 2 days, 3 hours each, 15 perday.
so enough la, 30 kan?

friends who doesnt bitch behind your back are true friends.
they are :)
ill never stop singing praises for them cause they are..
GREAT!

2009-05-24T00:02:00.002+08:00

i saw that sneer on your face just now.
watch me, ill make more money then you.
that i promise you :)
to start of with, im graduated with a higher cert you :)
and i assure you..
ill get that contract.
even if it takes me 10 times of the same interview.
watch me you mofo.
:)

2009-05-22T11:08:00.000+08:00

i promise i update sooon.
ive beeen too busy with so many things.

2009-05-18T22:31:00.002+08:00

HAPPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY JANNAHEY!
haha, 21 key to freedom? haha.
you and i know what 21 means.
old, more responsibilities.
hahaha..yet HAPPY!
i love you sis.
have a great birthday
mwah mwah mwah mwah

2009-05-18T22:17:00.002+08:00

i started on my job recently..
it was okay.
all i do was sit and sit and sit.
my permanent buddy came just now.
it was alright.

my working schedule is fine but accomodating with nan's is hard.
girls who wants to be with their boyfriends most of the time will understand this.

and i swear, that im so tired of trying too hard.
truth, i want to be with him whenever i can.
and if i couldnt, its up to him to be with me or not.
it hurts to the max when you said that.
though you claimed that you said that under different circumstancees..

its your turn.
its up to you.
nothing is enough in a relationship..
but im just tired.
im fighting my guts out with you just to meet you, and spend time with you.
haish.

and now,
im done. with everything.

i cried when i promise myself never to shed tears.
i hurt myself when i promise to protect myself.
the insults, sarcasm and all the mean things that you and your friend poured on me..
brings me back to square one that he had placed me.
words kill.

and here i am again.
square one.
useless.

2009-05-14T00:35:00.002+08:00

and like so finally..
WE GRADUATE TOGETHER
:)

2 yeaRS passed very very quickly
without those important people, i dont i'll graduate.
we push and pull each thru till the end
:)

the first girl who smiled at me on my way up to the auditorium(she was going down)
siti aishah
the one i thought was a chinese girl cause mater so sepet
watie ultra bitch aka sunshine
the boys..
were at the row behind us, nak step coool jek.
:)

an body, bobo, fame, adawiyah, shasha, skudai, ogy, brendelilah
halik, watie, zulbean, an batu
:)

to watie:
i always adore you for everything. adore wanie for having sucha great friend like you. and now, we're finally super close, im so fortunate.
to have really someone to turn to for good whenever everything around me comes tumbling down. i swear, its really hard to find a good soul like you. and after finding for someone im comfortable telling everything about..i'll cherish you. thanks for giving me a chance to be your friend and to be close to you.

and for some reason, i always have the urge to hear from you everyday. and it would be great to know that youre doing fine. but damn shitty to know if you fought with delilah or BFF. haha, you cb bitch, dont create trouble can or not?!
AND I STILL HAVEN FORGIVE YOU FOR LETTING ME THE LAST TO KNOW AFTER 6 EFFING MONTHS! nbccb

to halik:
damn fucking wrong of me to date you. but come to think about it, for that mistake, we actually found true friend in each other. i bicker with you more then i bicker with watie, and you definately bicker more with watie and hence, you shall take away the title of SUPER ULTRA BITCH.

i never met any male bitchier from you. so manly on the outside, but fucking gay and bitchy once we know you. but im so happpy to have you around as part of my life. reallly very fortunate.

you know me, i hardly open up to people, and once i do, that goes to show how much trust i have in you and how special you are to me. youre more then a best friend, youre my blood. without me having to say much, you understand everything. and we always share the same thought, though opposite at times, WE manage to live with the difference.

and if you decided to stay single all your life, i have my children to take care of you and to love you like how they love me. thanks for everything mate. we are blood for life.

about zulbean&batu:
i dont think they'll ever read. and if batu blog hopp, it wouldnt be my blog, it would be CHICKIES blogs. and zul would nevr ever read my blog. fucking ignorant shit!

they are the best! i mean, guys seldom listen, bitch and give suggestions. they seldom show their enthusiasm about anything. thats one thing about their kind. bean&batu..they are different. they are gifted to have a little bitcH of those girlish sense. they tend to understand girls more.

and trust me, when we get down to talk about everything..they always make things better for you. they make you look on other perspective and let you have the honest guys opinion. when i cry, they'll find me tissue paper. when i neeed a hug or just pat on the back, they'll be there for me. when im sick, they'll take care of me.

one thing for sure..they never leave you behind. never ever turn their back on you. they'll be there for you even if you decided to vomit on their shoe ( i did it to zul), they'll make sure you feel better and keep on reminding you to take care of yourself. if possible, they'll find you medicine to eat.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
one word to describe me;
BLESSED.

Oni's post

2009-05-10T13:02:00.002+08:00

Im glad i had the tok with her yest, i hope things get better now. yes,its been awhile we have not done thngs like dat, tok alone, just us..our voices no 1 else.its been awhile, to see such a beutiful scene and talking to each other..i love u faz.. im so sorie for hurting you.. its ok ayang...you can trust me.. like how i trust me.. u can have faith in me, like how i have faith in u.. our dreams is not short.. my dream with u is nt short..this is for a better future.. for our kids..for us :).. everythings going to be ok now ayang.. i live u so much!

2009-05-10T08:39:00.003+08:00

to my oni..
i had so much fun yesterday at kent ridge.
when is the last time that we actually spend that meaningful time together?
and im sure, our love is very strong to go against any odd.
and i believe whatever youve said to me.
and finally, youre honest to me abut everything, i mean everything
its you and me, never anyone else.
:)

welll,
i spend some time with siti yesterday
while waiting for them to send baby to the doctor.
whatever it is, he is healthy and fine.

to my dearest sheila mambo
it was so great yesterday!!!
and thanks for everything.
somehow i find that courage..haha
but takder.

specially to
AN
ZUL
BREN
WATIE
HALIK
thanks so much for listening and understanding
and letting me see things in different perspective.
and i reallly understand his position now.
thanks for the patience and letting me have your honest guys views.
haha,
it makes so much difference.

dendam all u want,
youre living in distress
i had enough giving in.
malas aku nk layan.
period.

2009-05-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

santeria by sublime

I don't practice santeria
I aint got no crystal ball.
Well, I had a million dollars but I
I'd spend it all,
If I could find that heina and that sancho that she's found,
well I'd pop a cap in sancho and I'd slap her down.

What I really wanna know,
my baby, what I really want to say I can't define.
Well it's love,
that I need, oh ,
but my soul will have to,
wait till I get back find heina of my own.
Daddy's gonna love one and all.

I feel the break,
feel the break,
feel the break and I got live it out,
oh, yea huh, well I swear that I.
What I really wanna know, my baby,
what I really want to say I can't define.
Got love! make it go,
my soul will have to...

ohhh What I really wanna say,
my baby,
What I really wanna say is I've got mine.
and I'll make it, Yes, I'm comin' up.

Tell sanchito that if he knows what is good for him he best go run and hide.
Daddy's got a new .45.
and I won't think twice to stick that barrel straight down sancho's throat.
Believe me when I say that I got somethin for his punk ass.
What I really wanna know, my baby,
oh what I really wanna say is there's just one,
way back,
and I'll make it, yea,
but my soul will have to wait.
yea, yea, yea

2009-05-08T06:45:00.001+08:00

If i were a boy..

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy

2009-05-08T06:07:00.001+08:00

When Sagittarius and Pisces join together in a love match, a relationship of realized dreams is formed. Sagittarius is more of a thinker and philosophizer, easily drifting around from one pursuit to the next. Pisces is more inward, involved in the shifting of their own mindscape. They are opposites in some respects, and to outsiders may seem an unlikely pair. But as their love for one another grows, they are more likely to be able to satisfy the philosophical cravings of the other and maintain a healthy relationship.

Sagittarius is outgoing and versatile, and in a relationship with Pisces often comes to the defense of their gentler partner. Pisces, in turn, gives Sagittarius subtle understanding and a place to escape from their tireless endeavors. Pisces is a Sign that, like Water, adapts easily to its surroundings; Pisces tends to focus much energy on understanding and sympathizing with their partner. They are often more patient with Sagittarius's aloofness than other Signs. Sagittarius's active pursuit of knowledge combines with Pisces's gentle compassion towards others to give both partners a self-awareness that doesn't pass into egocentricity and isn't overly accommodating, such as Pisces alone may be.

Sagittarius and Pisces are both ruled by the Planet Jupiter. Pisces is also ruled by Neptune. Jupiter brings exploration and outreach to both Signs. Pisces is concerned with this aspect in an abstract sense; they often find themselves trying to save the world (perhaps in the form of recycling or environmentalism). Sagittarius, on the other hand, prefers to broaden their horizons through academics. Neptune is about big pictures, ideas and illusions; but it's also involved with disillusion and fantasy. Sagittarius can help Pisces plant its feet on the ground. Jupiter works through Pisces to put a gentler touch on Sagittarius's occasional hotheaded outbursts.

Sagittarius is a Fire Sign and Pisces is a Water Sign. These two elements can form a great couple if they give in a little, using innate understanding of situations and people to get matters resolved. Pisces can offer Sagittarius direction and help them learn to be gentler, while Sagittarius teaches Pisces to go out and explore the world. This couple will enjoy traveling together. Pisces can be emotionally draining for the Archer at times, too much Water dampening Sagittarius's fiery spirit. Conversely, too much Fire can boil the Water and leave Pisces steaming. Sagittarius and Pisces must use their perceptive skills to enhance the relationship, always focusing on what the other needs.

Sagittarius and Pisces are both Mutable Signs. Neither partner feels a need to dominate the relationship. They enjoy equality and like to see their ideas come to fruition. Pisces gets great happiness from helping Sagittarius. Sagittarius and Pisces enjoy dreaming up ideas and putting them into action. No one is preoccupied with end results; for this couple, the fun is in the journey! A lack of conflict over roles helps Sagittarius and Pisces work toward the same goals with great success.

What's the best aspect of the Sagittarius-Pisces relationship? It's that they can benefit from one another's wisdom and at the same time get along so well together. Pisces shows Sagittarius how to empathize and care; Sagittarius teaches Pisces how to turn fantasy into reality! The ability of each to provide what the other lacks makes theirs a truly reciprocal relationship.

2009-05-07T00:51:00.002+08:00

to mannan;

its hard at times keeping up with you.
and i know its hard for you keeping up with me.
we both have different wanting.
and the only common wanting between us is love.

and no matter how badly others wanna see us fall..
we are together
cause we are bonded by love
that some do not even have the privilege of having.
hence im fortunate to have you and no matter what, i wont let you go
eventhough you were so persistent THEN.

i hate whatever happens yesterday.
when i hurt you, i hurt myself.
when i hit you, i feel the pain.

i thought things are gonna be better after the 6months near 7 months of gruelling wait.
those sundays..
when i rush to your place,
and we rush wherever we go.
those saturdays when we have to divide our time with so so many things.
those fridays when i have to wait till you finish your prac late at night.
i thought things are reallly gonna be better.
but somehow im wrong.

i feel that in life..i wait too much.
at times, i feel like giving up, cause its too hard on me.
i do not want to continue.

and for love..
i wait.

and to anyone who tried to get thru me yesterday..
sorry for not picking up the calls and replying to messages.
youre not the only one im avoiding.
thanks abglili

2009-05-07T00:20:00.003+08:00

ADORABLE?

4thMAY2009

Muhammad Shahkhidir

i love him.

fazzy's post

2009-05-04T01:16:00.003+08:00

good luck baby for your posting tomorrow.
i really really hope no night shift for you tml as you wont be able to attend my graduation ceremony and shaz&naz PassingOutParade.

its hard to accept you doing that job.
i change my mindset.
NPCO not bad afterall.
gets you license to destroy bren's car :p

and i'll be very supportive baby
and be that women behind your success.

all the best baby
i love you so much nann
mwah!

2009-05-04T01:05:00.002+08:00

the weekend was fabulous.
very tiring but worth while.

nan came over to my place on saturday to get rid of cockroach that was suspected in my closet.
grrr...
never catch that cb cock-roach that i saw.

i manage to spend time with my family.
and catch my bro performing at taman warisan melayu on sunday.

but they only performed 2 songs.
DAMN.

2009-05-04T00:57:00.002+08:00

when its just you and me in sentosa and pasir ris beach
yes, we are super crazy people.

and i wonder when we could ever be having so much free times in the future.
love you so much mannan
:)

2009-05-04T00:31:00.002+08:00

i miss you so much baby.
till now,
i would always cry to sleep whenever i thought about you.
you're like the super sensitive issue in my life.
like i say..
youre not mine
but only GOD knows how much i love you.
al-fateha

this sweeties visited us last last week.
i didnt have the time to update.
finallly have the time to update.
if you were to notice,
its all short entries all the way.
FINALLLY!

baby danial :)

faeqa & sabrina :)

i love all my nieces and nephews.
another one on the way!!!

2009-05-03T16:51:00.002+08:00

privacy is irritating right?
you got no more key to my honest thoughts and pain in life.

2009-04-28T02:37:00.002+08:00

my boyfriend is soundly asleep right now.

im having problem sleeping at night.
i hate this habit.
i love sleeping early and starting my day early.
i love morning % evening but i hate afternoon.

to whoever that is concern:
thanks for listening to me whining and all my problems.
it makes me really feel so much better.
and i thank to whomever that is concern for that.
you know who you are

to my roti nan:
thanks for being patient with me, tolerating my nonsense and massive amount of stress during this period.
no more camps and i could see more of you.
i love you nan

and i wish ica starts faster
holiday everyday gets boring at times.
but yes, im appreaciating everything now.
may never get to do this ever when i start.

now i cant sleep
my stomach hurts badly.

2009-04-27T15:30:00.002+08:00

i hate being caught in the middle.
leave me out of the affairs.
im shagged from everything.
sorrry

2009-04-25T00:25:00.001+08:00

nan
naz
shaz

the HEROES of my life

reality/virtual

LEFT 4 DEAD
:)

2009-04-24T09:21:00.001+08:00

fucking idiotic stupid mannan.
!@#$%
bodoh

2009-04-24T00:57:00.002+08:00

YES!
HALIK BITCH IS RIGHTTTT!
FINALLLY,
SOMESENSE IS BEING KNOCK INTO MY HEAD
THANKSS BLOOD.
I OWE YOU ONE
:)
AND I WILL DO IT THIS VERY MOMENT.

2009-04-24T00:41:00.000+08:00

ARRRGGHHH
TATING OR WHAT.
NO TIME FOR THIS.
K DIAM.

2009-04-23T20:27:00.002+08:00

hey readers.
very random topic.

i really adore those who appreaciate what they are having in their life.

some just do not appreaciate anything that Allah have given on them.
some committed suicide
some gave up over minor problems

ive seen my nephew fighting his battle over cancer.
he fought it till the end
and he went away peacefully in his sleep.
how many people who went away..
went away peacefully?

and i knew a girl,
very beautiful and fair girl
very bubbly and cheerful girl
suddenly seeing doubles in her vision
losing control on one of her eyes
suspected of eyes stroke
but when i met her yesterday..
she was all smiles,
bubbly like before
and how do you define that?

after seeing that,
it struck me..
since cancer & stroke is define as chronic disease and a major problem..
and a 3.5 years old toddler fought it hard and never give up
and a beautiful girl losing control of her eye
..
then what is all our everyday problems compared to them?

why running away from home,
consuming alcohol,
smoking your lungs out,
attempting suicide..
is that the answer to all our problems?

think think think think

APPREACIATE WHAT YOU HAVE
APPREACIATE WHAT ALLAH HAS GIVEN YOU BE IT GOOD OR BAD
cause
he puts you to it, he brings you thru it.

please do soul-searching while you can.

2009-04-22T00:47:00.002+08:00

im sorry readers,
i just cant seem to stop posting about my boyfriend.

he means so much to me.
he would against the odd to make things right for me.

the account statement arrived last week..
since $800+ was his first ever money in the account..
and that was when we started dating a year a month plus ago..
the statement wrote..
since the last updated balance is $6800
and below that there were a long list of transactions made over a few motnhs back..
i guess its not only 6k+ my boyfriend spent on me..
its more actually..

goodness,
looking at the digits..
we could have gotten married very very soon.
like in 2 months time.
haish.
naz roughly estimated 400+ per month
and its not entirely on me..
his bike+fuel consumption.
but i swear he hardly spend anything on himself.

i make things better for you alrigght baby.
very very soon.
i feel so bad about everythings
friends have been rubbing into it.
hahaha. gle la korang.

it was so great of a conversation i had mith my roti nan yesterday..
yeap..
everything will go as plann very soon.
im so looking forward for it.
we could have gooten it sooner but nvm, be a little bit more patience for the best one.

nicely plann.
super duper nice.
i loveitttt!
i cant wait la sey.

love you roti nan.

2009-04-22T00:41:00.003+08:00

monday;

i was super bored at home
watie bitch had her first day in RP.
she is still alive though she said she wants to jump down from 7th floor.

i met shaz in the night.
super duper last minute sey.
he had his interview till 710pm
kesian sey, he hasnt eaten anything
rokok yang dier carik.

we hang around at jurong point till 9pm
and he is really like makcik..
buy roti, maggi, burger for his squadmates.
kesian shaz.

and again,
i become their rokok keeper this week.
naz asked me to keep his rokok
and
shaz also.
sajak la korang bestfriend.

ATTENTION.
SHAZ AND
HALIK'S NAME(ONLY) IS ON THE NEWS.
CHANNEL NEWS ASIA!

2009-04-22T00:30:00.002+08:00

i had 2 interviews today.
one was super far and the other one was at cbd area.
tele-marketing & trainer's assistant.

tele-marketing
1.1k (basic)
office hours
paya lebar

trainer's assistant
8 an hour
free-lance
assist trainers during external couses in school.

i secure both jobs
but im not taking them
reason being, i dont want that job.
tele-marketing, seriously..not advisable.
the other one..
if im free, i take up the assigment.

enough of that.

soooo,
i went dinner with my beloved people.
super last minute.
zul accompanied me thru out the day today..
and we meeet the other chucies at glass house for fish&co.

since its zul's treat
i couldnt say much but to agreee
i had seafoood platter which cost 19.90
kesian zul
and we spend a total amount of 158$
hahaha, me and watie standard FREE.

we then went to starbuck for our little cakes.
kesian zul..
couldnt get his cheese cake
i get it for him when i see him again
we bumped into an adm and his gf
geeraam giler sakkk
im so tempted to say ' at least i loook way better then your gf'
grrrr, but kesianla kan. the gf super decent and young.
and on accord of bo..
i just take it though inside my head i feel like spilling hot water his face.
and i didnt salam HIM. SUMPAH MALAS.

and yes..
that was my day without my boyfriend.
i wish he was here.
i went home alone..haha, nothing new
tooodles.

2009-04-21T00:33:00.002+08:00

if you could turn back time would you feel everything once again?

if i could turn back time..i would take some and leave some.

lets just be honest :)
1. i would spend extra time with oldman, jannah, sue, shaliz, gerard, malcolm, yaosheng, gary, baoxian, huda, fadli, syufhan, soonkeat, amin, razzaq....

2. knowing ke shiquan again :)

3. not knowing fahmy, he creates great massive mess in my life. only nan knows how great the mess is. all thanks to that !@#$%^&. ggggrrrrrmmmm

4. never to retake my o-level. completely waste of my time. if only i took sport management then. maybe i'll be inpoly cause badinfluence rate very low that year. haha

5. appreaciate all those times we spend together at forever21..chekrose, fizzah, sheila, abgazaaam cukor chest hair, moe, jazzzzzzzzz handsome, akasha mak penat girlll, lagu thailand, dancing in the fitting room, raizan, ishan. no life over the weekend but hell loads of fun. i swear :)

6. never to date halik, now we are bloood. eh? hahaha

7. never to date hilmi, dani, syawal and many many more.

8. never to be in relationship with nazmi (big NO), rizal, fadli hahaha.

9. never to slack in year one. i could be in poly now.

10. to have ignored all those so called social life outside and spend more time with my family, in particularly ARIQUE. which includes ; town every week, out almost everyday, late nights every weekend. goodness.

11. but..things i never regret doing would be being in ITE, going for the seniors' sport camp. cause thats when i met good good best best friends like HALIK, WATIE, AN, ZULBEAN, BRENBREN, SHASHA AND thats where i found my one and only roti nan and thats when i finally brace myself to break the ice by...asking him to massage my legs. i made the first move la. if not, it would be him cause he ask my email from SHASHA. and that bitch name appear on his one year annivesary post. -________- haha.

2009-04-20T07:35:00.000+08:00

damn ************
i wish i hasnt seen your face.
i'll get out sooon.

2009-04-17T02:22:00.002+08:00

this is for you..
im so fortunate to have a GEM like you.
for some reason, its just so hard to find anybody so..
perfect
sincere
faithful
honest
like you.

as you know, one quality that really attracts me to you was your sincerity.
its your SINCERITY that makes you stand out from all those guys i was dating then.
that sincerity you have in you was already implanted.
without much effort like other guys put to wooo,
you attract me easily with that "sincere quality" you have.

i still remember those days
when many were shocked upon our decision to be with each other.
how some of our friends somehow disagree
and some stating that we wont last long.
worse, they gauge that we'll be together for only a month
im so glad you stick to your decision and be with me despite warnings given to you.
and here we are.
stronger then ever

till now, i never regretted my choice being with you
and till now, that sincerity in whatever youve done for me, i could feel it
hence making me love you more and more each day.

im just so blessed to have a wonderful boyfriend like you.
and i know i make you angry & disappointed all the time
but i never mean any of those words.
for what i know, i love you deeply.
it is embedded in my heart and no one/nothing could change the love i'm having for you.
and im sure many envy on our relationship like how i envied those when i haven found you :)

i love you till death.
okay?? hehe.
i love you darling.

2009-04-16T12:10:00.000+08:00

okay.
im super bored at home.
my friends are all busy with school and work.
so what should i do?

ive gotten a job but i neeed to wait.
i justcant wait to start on my job soooon
and again, what should i do??

i msged a few of my friends yesterday.
1. camelot
2. camp high achiever
3. coffee bean
4. telemarketing
5. mosi cafe
6. giraffe

the first 2 is camps of course..and kinda 50/50. i hate having to pack my bag and leave home eventhough under present circumstances i dont mind doing it, but im just lazy.
the third one, i have to undergo training, and i guess i only get partial of the pay. by the the time i complete my training, i guess it would be just nice for me to start my permanent job. so nahhhhh.
akasha offered me the fourth job. hmmmm, strategic location, okayokay working time. not bad basic. so ya, im taking that job.
though im sooooo lazy to work.
i rather not touch on mosi and girafffe.

sooo, im meeting sheila and einnn later. my goodness sheila, leave smoking out of my name. you wouldnt want them to get the wrong idea again. hahaha

2009-04-15T01:11:00.001+08:00

haha.

life is full of jokes.

2009-04-10T22:34:00.000+08:00

hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I PLAYED LEFT 4 DEAD or is it LIFE 4 DEAD?

hahahahaaaaa, we played at grandlink for near 2 hours.

i hate being the infected.

i love being the survivor.

there were kotekkonek, oni, demondome, nazee and modzsquad fazzy fazzy

gle la kiter.

i made the most noise and end up shooting their legs or shooting my own team-mates(prangai halikwalit)

i had so much fun.

we then played pool

my rule which means

the white ball will go everywhere i want (but i still lose against SHAZ)

goodnessgraciousme..

iluma's cinema..fucking long queue.

our moods were dampened when the rain falls heavily..

and me BEING A GOOD FRIEND TO SHAZ DECIDED TO WALK WITH HIM TO ARAB STREET TO AVOID GETTING DRENCH.

and guess what, we're wetter then the guys on bike.

!#$%^&*

met hisham and ellice

we ate our lunch cum dinner at ZAM ZAM ALAKASAM

my indian lasagne with onion!

ONION! ONIO! ONI! ON! O!

SHAZ SHAZ SHAZ...HAISH!

(no comment)

we were super bored..

wait till the rain stop and proceed to starbuck..

finallly, we managed to catch the 710pm show at bugis.

hahahahaaaaa

CEPAT & GARANG 4.

we got discounts from the kind staff..she was sooo sweeet and nicee :)

hahahahaaaaaaaa.

i love it.

stupid supershaaa..never answer my question.

i now understand how you feel halik.

we had donutssssssss!

we head straight home after that since they msged me a little bit late.

i was already home when you bitches msged.

so yeah..

thanks shaz and naz and nan especially for all the treats in any form.

i know, free labour, at home & outside.

and no matter how many times i check my atm, my pay wont come in.

so shuddddup k.

love you.

mwah!

2009-04-09T14:05:00.000+08:00

i thought it was gonna be a boring day at home yesterday.
wanted to go to expo, but mom decided to cancel it..
-______________-
infact it very boring when my sister start to clean the house herself.
i was lazy tooo helped out.
i just cleaneed my rooom.

so ya, thats the cleaner version of the living rooom.
and it was so random when they decided to go out to jurong point in the eveening.
i love it.

or i'll be dead bored.
or just bug my boyfriend to accompany me on the phone.

and we walked around..
had very very late dinner at long john.
i love it.
:)

the helpful, sweet, nicer version of siti faeqa. :)

2009-04-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

Presenting mr and mrs ahmad

our FIRST bed :)

i gave birth to a twin. named FAZLUNA AHMAD & ARIQUE AHMAD

our messy second house.

Our infant to toddler birthdays :)

i built this house with my bare hands.
my current house

arique went to club without our permission.
feeling deejay.

family discussion in the jacuzzi.

just us!

hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
this is my SIMS family.
einn, upload yours also la.
toooodles.

2009-04-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

VERY RANDOM.
i love my mom, dad, sisters, brothers, nephews & nieces.
:)
i love them so much
without them im not me.
i appreaciate everything that they've done for me.
im fortunate to have born into this wonderful family of mine
I LOVE MY FAMILY

congrats to BRENDON, BOBO AND FAME.
up-to-date
brendon and bobo will be serving the POLICE FORCE on 9th june and 7th july respectively.
fame will be serving the CIVIL DEFENCE on the 7thjuly.
p.s kesian ADAWIYAH DAN WATIESUNSHINE.
but watie worse, must wait for 10 gruelling days of confinement,
ad noneed!
hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

and

NAZEE & SHAZYZY finally passed their LAW TEST after 2nd time trying.
p.s. if hyder can do it, so can you =)
dah, jgn action pat matair aku, check check lagi 3 bulaN!
wahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

and

HALIK cant serve the nation cause he is A GAY.
wannabe white padahal makan blacan.
nak step ikot owen aku and andrew shasha jek.
wahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa.

and

i guess farhan, zulhafiz and halik will get police.

and yes..
IM STILL DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH AHMAD MANNAN.
and congrats upon getting your regular contract.
half half k your pay with me.
=)

and..
i still miss arique.
love you baby.

2009-04-07T11:01:00.000+08:00

i love my great great friends :)

WATIE ULTRA BITCH BITCH

FARHAN BITCH

HALIK BITCH

BRENDON BITCH

what does that sign means? everyone is doing it, so we did it. kinda stupid though.

yesterday was super great.

i had soooo much fun.

i love my friends.

mwah!

fazzy

2009-04-07T01:37:00.000+08:00

im so glad ive cleared the air with sheila baby.
here goes;
im so happy that we finally had the chance to really have a heart-to-heart talk.
ive beeen wanting to tell you about what i told you just but its so hard to start the conversation.
im so glad both of us somehow initiate the conversation.
i really really hope youve understand the situation after the long talk just now
and yes, i finally understand yours too.
its not about mannan baby.
like i said, my family really really matters sooo much to me after the crisis we've been hit recently.
and i will find time to spend my time with einn, shasha and you especially.
im sorry for thinking otherwise about the question youve posed to me.
and i definately dont wanna lose you over something/somebody that doesnt mean anything to me.
and i finally saw my old sheila when we talked just now.
i love you baby.
so much.